I’ll See You in my Dreams
I’ve had two dreams that made me believe in reincarnation. I had a hard time believing in it, but these dreams told me that it is what it is.
The first dream was from way back in the day. I was wearing a long black dress with ruffles around the collar and wrists. I was stuck. Stuck in a vertical wooden box with small shapes of circles and stars cut out of the sides in multiple places. I was in there with another woman and two young girls, all wearing black and the same type of clothes like me. They were hysterical. The young girls were loudly crying to where I couldn’t hear what was being said outside. The other woman was trying to soothe them and saying that it will all be alright. It wouldn’t be because I peered through one of the star-shaped holes and saw a group of men standing feet apart, laughing like maniacs. Some holding bottles of what I could only guess were filled with liquor. Some were holding sticks with the ends on fire. Some were holding both. I could only assume that our lives would end soon. And they did. The men holding the flaming sticks and bottles walked closer to the box splashed the remaining liquid of whatever it was all over the box some getting through the holes and hitting us inside. Then one held the flame at the star I was staring out of, and it began to burn. They set us on fire. We all screamed. The heat was outrageous. We held on tightly to each other as we went up in flames.
Then I woke up.
I was sitting on a plane in the next dream. I was a male this time (If there are two cousins in particular reading this…shut up). I wore a light teal dress shirt with its cuffs rolled up, a big black watch and a pair of khakis. Not the greatest outfit but I digress. I sat in the back of the plane in an aisle seat. Suddenly, the plane’s nose started to point downwards and we rapidly descended. I held onto the armrest trying to remain in my seat, with my eyes closed tightly and my mouth clenched. We suddenly crashed into trees. I felt every branch hit me I felt the heat from the fire ball when we smashed into the ground.
Then I woke up.
I felt that they were real because of the sensations. The wetness from the liquor, the heat from the fires, the branches hitting me. Those two dreams had me believing in the slightest chance of reincarnation.
But now my mind has been changed forever.
About a year ago, as I laid on the couch trying not to fall asleep waiting for my niece to text me that she was done hanging out with her marching band buddies at the restaurant down the street, I was fighting the urge to fall asleep. My eyes kept closing and I kept jolting myself awake. Eventually though my subconscious took over and I was in limbo between awake and asleep. And that is where the most incredible and amazing moment happened that has changed me forever.
First things first, my grandmom passed away almost 26 years ago. She was a beautiful person inside and out. She is one of the people in my life that taught me what unconditional love is without needing to explain or say anything. My mom’s cousin Judy, or as I liked to call her Julia Margaret McCarty who passed away in 2020, was a lovely person as well. She was almost angelic-like. Actually, I could use that word for both of them. Even though they had faults, their innocence and beauty reigned over them. I think of Judy every time I pick up my car keys because I have a keychain of hers and well, my grandmom pops in my mind all the time.
Back to the story…I was lying on the couch half in and half out of sleep. Oh, one more thing. I was going through a very difficult time. I was feeling awfully down and definitely deep in depression, so I was probably laying on that couch all day feeling empty.
Again, back to the story…half in, half out. Then I was suddenly standing in someone’s kitchen. It didn’t look familiar to me but in this scenario, I looked quite comfortable standing there talking to someone with a drink in my hand. I heard calls coming from the other room. I could tell it was my mom, my grandmom, and Judy’s voices. I walked into the room where they sat at a small table that was low to the ground. I can see it vividly. My mom was sitting on the floor on the opposite side of the table wearing a red shirt. My grandmom was wearing a dark blue shirt and light blue pants. She was sitting at the other end of the table from my mom and right next to her was Judy, wearing a dark purple tweed jacket with a knee-length black skirt, leggings and Mary Jane’s. She was kneeling down beside Grandmom. The three of them all had smiles on their faces and were waving me over and saying that they wanted to give me something. I knelt down beside Judy as my mom pulled something from a gray-ish gold bag. A bit bigger than a coin purse. She put the object in her cupped hands (like the picture above. I didn’t know how to describe that, so I found a picture to make it easier for everyone.) and held it out to me. Then, I saw two other pairs of hands do the same thing. It was at that moment when I looked over at my grandmom and Judy and realized they were truly there. I saw them obviously before. But at that moment I opened my eyes to the fact that they passed away a long time ago, and they were sitting there beautifully next to me. I looked at them, said their names and crumbled into them sobbing like a little child. Sound dissipated. They wrapped their arms around me as the trio of us rocked back and forth weeping. I sat up still crying and instantly my head flew back, and I let out a wail which was the only sound I heard during that incredible moment. Then, the brightest white light I have ever seen lit up the room. When I pulled my head back up, they were gone.
Then I woke up.
To me that wasn’t a dream. It was a visit. They came to me at a moment when I needed to feel something. Not just them tangibly but their hearts, their souls, and their love.
It was the most powerful, spiritual, and impassioned emotion I have ever experienced. I had trouble falling asleep that night because I knew that I wasn’t going to experience that again and I wanted too so badly.
Truly life changing because now I know for certain that life doesn’t end here. I have no question whatsoever. I will be seeing the people that I lost during this journey of life again. They will be near me when I’m passing to help me cross over. Once I’m there, I will see my pets run to me from the meadow at the Rainbow Bridge. We will all be together again.
You know what drives me insane though? The fact I didn’t see what they were trying to give me. All three had their hands out to show me. But noooooo, I had to realize that dead people were near me. So, Grandmom and Julia Margaret McCarty, if you could please visit me again and give me the damn thing, I would really appreciate it.
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